Never (Say Never)

Hello readers, just a short blog entry because it’s about one word: never.
Before I became a family man the word never was so easy to use, especially when making off-the-cuff remarks about other people’s choices. For example, Tellytubbies. I always said that children from my loin would NEVER watch that ill informed mush. Ding, dong! Delivery of humble pie for the new dad. Bugger! Yep, my daughter ended up watching it, and loving it.
Now, there have been a few other meals of humble pie over the years but one I’ve always been steadfast about is owning a dog. Cats I’ll have any day but canines aren’t my pet of choice. Although I grew up with dogs as a child (there’s a joke in there somewhere) I was never really struck on them because the dogs we had whilst I was growing up (physically that is) were boring and lifeless husks, and not the dogs, as a young lad, you could take on an adventure. In fact, out of the dozens of dogs I’ve come across over the years only three stick in my mind as being great examples of what a dog should be: an afghan hound my dad had named nigger (can’t do that now), a puppy my sister and I rescued from Battersea Dog’s home that was brimfull of love and life and a Border Collie our great friends the Geddes had.
So how does this all relate to the word never? Well, I’ve had to dine out on a large piece of humble pie again because we’ve bought two Maltese cross Shih-Tzu puppies. Just before Christmas we clapped eyes on a three week example of one and instantly took a shine to the breed and ever since that encounter have trawled through the papers and internet looking for litters on sale. Strangely, on the day Bec’s parents left to return to England, Bec found some for sale that was just off the route we would have to take when driving to Melbourne’s International airport. So on the way there we checked the puppies out and after saying our goodbyes to the outlaws we called back in and picked them up, after shelling out $600 of course (can you hear the Homer Simpson style scream?).
However, we don’t regret it. They are beautiful little additions to the family and bring us lots of fun. My worry now though is what I may do a u-turn on next. Another cruise maybe? Aaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhh! Perish the thought.
Never again?!?!
BFN.

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(Tom) Cruise – The Tale End

Hello readers. By now you should have had enough time to catch up with what we’ve been doing on our cruise around New Zealand, apart from, that is, the final few days. Which is where this blog entry comes in. This update rounds off our account of our thirteen nights on the Sea Princess.
After leaving the beautiful, and very Scottish, Dunedin we set sail for Fiordland, a system of inlets carved out by glaciers thousands of years ago and, with many of them, deep and wide enough to allow a massive cruise liner to sail in and through them.
Our first fiord, or sound as they’re incorrectly known, was entered at around 8am and only took an hour to sail through but was very impressive. The sides of the hills were almost close enough to touch. There was an eerie silence around us and as we ventured further inland it felt like we were trespassing in a giant’s garden. The scenery was breath-taking and everything you imagined it to be.
An hour or so later we cut through another fiord very similar in size and length to the first one, before sailing for a few hours to our final fiord or, as the New Zealanders have named it, Milford Sound. This was the most stunning of the fiords and truly impressed with its grandeur and scale. No longer were we sailing past hills, we were now sailing past snow-capped mountains that looked like they’d been ripped out of the ground by an angry force. Our ship was dwarfed by our surroundings and it really felt like we were privileged guests on an alien planet. As we traversed Milford Sound a helicopter buzzed the cruise liner taking promotional shots and film footage of, what must have been, a truly amazing spectacle: A huge cruise liner sailing through bright blue water whilst being overshadowed by stunning scenery will no doubt sell hundreds of cabins in years to come. Suffice to say no-one was in their cabin during our time in Milford Sound. Even a blind person would have been foolish to miss this event, such was its beauty. Once we had gone as far we could the liner did a u-turn and headed out of the sound (fiord) and made its way back to Sydney, some two-and-a-half days sailing.
So was it all worth it? Yes and no. We saw a lot of what NZ had to offer in an alternative way to conventional holidaying and enjoyed it with some great friends, but it wasn’t for me. As time wore on the ship became claustrophobic and boring. The shows irritated with their blandness and the lack of entertainment for a younger audience was woeful. The constant dining irritated towards the back end of the cruise, as did the need to ‘dress up’ if you wanted fine dining. Probably though the one thing that has put me off going on another cruise is the constant feeling of being on someone else’s timetable. If you wanted to see more of NZ you had to get on an excursion to it and see it on a timetable you weren’t in control of. I like flexibility in my holidays but unfortunately cruising doesn’t seem to cater for it. By the time we docked at Sydney my family and I couldn’t wait to get in our car and drive the 1,000kms back to Geelong, which speaks volumes.
So good readers, cruising offers a lot of positives and magical moments but some of its negatives are very powerful and I think it’s a bit like Marmite: you’ll either like it or you won’t, there’s no middle ground.
So, until next time good readers, enjoy the pictures of what a cruise can offer you; some of the time.
BFN.

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(Tom) Cruise – Day Nine and Day Ten

Welcome back good readers. This update covers the past couple of days because, although we did a lot in them, it didn’t add up to a great deal.
Day nine was spent in the crater of a massive extinct volcano at a small town called Akaroa. It is a beautiful place and surrounded by the mountainous rim of a volcano, except for a break in it where the ocean, and shipping, comes in. We walked around for a bit and then took a two hour bus tour around some of its sights and scenery outlooks. It gave us a real glimpse of what New Zealand’s south island is like and is easy to ser why its stunning countryside was used for a of the scenery in the Lord of the Rings films.
Day ten, which I am on as I write this, was spent in Dunedin which, as it sounds, is very Scottish in nature. In fact the word Dunedin is Gaelic for Edinburgh. Again we didn’t do much out of the ordinary. We visited Cadbury World (like the one in Birmingham) checked out the local mall and a fair bit of the local architecture (well I did, Bec and Lucy headed back to the boat). The churches, train station and local council buildings really made you feel that Scotland was in the palm of your hand. Weird considering we were over sixteen thousand kilometres away from it.
Dunedin is also significant for another reason: it is our last chance to go on land. Ahead of us we have a day on the boat as it goes around NZ’s Fiordland before embarking upon three nights and two days of solid sailing as we head back to Sydney. Aaaaarrrggghh!
So this is probably our last post for a few days. The final update will arrive once we are back home in Geelong.
So until then good readers, tar-tar.
The Cassons.

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(Tom) Cruise – Day Eight

Hello fine followers. Day eight of our cruise found us in Wellington on New Zealand’s south island and moored directly opposite a cool sports dome that is home to the city’s rugby team, The Hurricanes.
Fortunately for me I wasn’t here to be bored to death by rugby (football is king), I was up early and looking forward to a guided tour of Wellington’s Lord of the Rings film locations.
The tour left the harbour at around 8:30am and whisked myself and nine other LOTR fans (Bec and Lucy weren’t bothered about this tour) to the area where they filmed Gandalf meeting Sauraman at Isengard in the first movie. Of course there are very few signs of this ever happening but the tour guides pointed out the remnants and had folders of production photographs to help you identify the location in the film itself.
The next stop was in a forest and happened to be the set of Rivendell, the elf city. Again, nothing from the set was there except the woodland and topography that featured in the trilogy of films set around Rivendell. The tour guides brought this area to life with their folders of pre and post production photographs so that you could identify the parts of the movie you were witnessing.
After a spot of morning tea and a stroll across a rope bridge suspended a few metres above a very shallow stream (this area also featured in the LOTR but only the extended cuts) we were back on the mini-bus and heading to Weta Cave. Now, for those that don’t know, Weta Studios are the masters of digital film making and have done the special effects for the LOTR trilogy, obviously, King Kong, Avatar, The Frighteners, 30 Days of Night, The Hobbit (out Christmas 2012), Tintin, Waterhorse and many others. Weta Cave then, was a small shop-like setup that had film props to peruse and limited edition movie memorabilia to purchase. This was an awesome place and a movie buff’s paradise. Being able to stand next to a life size Golum or Uricai (a bad-ass orc) was fantastic and helped adorn my face with a big smile. The other amazing thing about Weta Cave was its location because it was right in the heart of Peter Jackson’s (LOTR director and co-founder of Weta Digital) film making empire. Shabby, run-down empty looking buildings housed movie sets, green screen rooms, animation studios and state-of-the-art soundstages that outdid anything Hollywood had, in fact a lot of America’s film studios use Weta’s expertise rather than their own talent. Unfortunately these were out of bounds to us and heavily policed by security guards and cameras.
Sadly the tour guide uttered the fateful words that sound the death-knell for trips: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, that concludes our trip. Please board the bus so that we can return you to your ship.’ Arse! True to his word he did just that and a short while later I found myself back on the ship tucking in to some delicious buffet type food. The day didn’t end there though because after my pit-stop in the buffet the Cassons went ashore to explore a little more of New Zealand’s capital city (which I thought was Auckland). Alas, this didn’t do anything for me because I was still living the morning out in my head and through the photos on my phone.
As I type this post Wellington is behind us and Akaroa is on the horizon (well it will be in a few more hours). Will this holiday never end? Return again soon to find out.
BFN, the Cassons.

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(Tom) Cruise – Day Seven

Hello again readers. I hope you’re not too sick of the blog entries, they’re a bit like London buses (you’ll know what I mean by that).
Day seven of the cruise was a little unusual because the liner didn’t dock in Napier until 1pm, instead of the usual 6 or 7am. The liner also had a departure time of 6:30pm which meant that there was only a window of just over five hours to go ashore in, and we weren’t allowed to walk to town because the harbour we had berthed at was a commercial one. So the port authority had set up a shuttle bus system to take us in to town.
Once there, we decided to explore Napier by foot and hunt out its Art Deco fame. We didn’t have to look far since nearly every building had its own unique facade above the shops. There were lightning flashes, fans, symmetrical blocks and curves to label just a few of the shapes on show, and all in complimentary and contrasting colour schemes. The town / city looked contemporary and historical all in the same breath. Napier had also put on a lot of street entertainment, tourist help and tour guides to cater for the cruise liner passengers. It made a difference too as the place was buzzing and full of life (and very 1930s).
After a few hours exploring Napier we headed back to the boat for a little time in the sun (it hasn’t been a regular face on our holiday so far). The evening was rounded off with a show and a movie and then bed.
However, I found it hard to get to sleep because the next day we would be docking in Wellington where I would be going on a Lord of the Rings excursion. Wahoo! So without further-a-do I donned my Gandalf costume and jumped into my sleeping quarters.
Run, you fools.
BFN, The Cassons.

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(Tom) Cruise – Day Six

Greetings again happy readers and welcome to another entry on our blog. With this one I shall regale you with what we got up to on day six of our cruise around New Zealand.
By 7am our liner had docked at Tauranga harbour and was to spend over twelve hours there. Our day was to be a busy one since we had booked ourselves on to an excursion that would last for just over nine hours and take us to some of the area’s popular tourist attractions. The terrain around Tauranga is still very volcanic looking and mountainous. It has a population of around 120, 000 people and had a very modern feel about it as our coach drove through its suburbs to our first destination, Rainbow Falls.
We weren’t quite sure what Rainbow Springs was all about (well Bec probably did because she reads up about our destinations whereas I just bumble along and discover things as I go) but it sure looked intriguing upon arrival, and I knew it would have something to do with kiwis (the birds) because pictures of them were plastered all over the entrance.
Rainbow Springs actually turned out to be a nature reserve / specialist zoo set amongst some beautiful woodland that also happened to have a large share of natural springs and freshwater streams. There were pools of water filled with massive trout, swans, ducks and other water based wildlife. There were also enclosures with native birds to view. One of these has got a unique way of living and it is New Zealand’s very rare pigeon. It is unique because of the way it eats, and this is what it does: its main food is fruit and what it does is eat until it gets so fat and heavy it falls out of the tree. As a result of this excessive binging it cannot fly so is therefore marooned on the ground until it has worked off its extra weight. Once it has done so it flies back up into the trees and starts eating all over again. What a way to live.
Towards the end of our guided tour around this great place we were taken to the kiwi sanctuary. This excited me because I’d never seen one of these birds before and wondered what they were like. Well, was I in for a surprise. They were massive. Not small and cute like, as a European, I had somehow come to believe. They were pretty big and not all that cute. They were still cool but not, as I had imagined, Quayle like. During our time here I did manage to have a go at someone in our party that decided to try and take pictures of these nocturnal animals even though there were oodles of signs telling visitors not to do this. The bloody arsehole. I can’t stand ejuts that think the rules don’t apply to them.
Our next destination was somewhere unpronounceable and involved getting on a paddle steamer for lunch as it made its way around a huge freshwater lake. This was as exciting as it sounds and was only made bearable by the Mauris on board that showed us some of their native rituals.
Once we had disembarked the paddle steamer named ‘Hop on Board for a Pointless Trip’ we were on our way to our final destination, Rotarua. This place is famous for its bubbling mud pools, volcanic springs and smelly air.
Upon arrival we were given a short introductory speech by a guide and then told we had around two hours to explore the park. There were three walks of different lengths to choose from but linked up with each other at certain places. We chose to do the mid-length walk and boy was it worth it. This place was just full of nature at its rawest. Everything we saw was based on volcanic activity. There was water bubbling up and changing colour, minerals of all colours being deposited in pools of steaming hot water, air that smelt like rotten eggs and craters spewing sounds and liquids that were reminiscent of a drunken giant. At times our walk felt prehistoric because the landscape had hardly been touched by mankind. Its rawness was its beauty. All it needed was a T-Rex to come bounding out of the surrounding woodland and the day would’ve been complete. Alas this wasn’t to be. Although I did put some sticks on my head and charge at Bec pretending to be a rutting stag.
Once our two hours were up the coach whisked us back to our ship so that we could rest up and recharge our batteries for our next port of call, Napier.
So come back soon to find out what we got up to there.
BFN lovely readers.

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(Tom) Cruise – Day Five

Hello again friends, readers and lost surfers. Day five of our glorious cruise found us docking at Auckland, one of NZ’s bigger cities and American looking in some ways. Anyway, we weren’t there to compare and contrast the place with other parts of the world. No. We were in Auckland to visit its zoo because our lovely daughter had been watching a TV show about it and wanted to see it all in person.
After a quick chat with an information bureau worker and a short sortie to get a sim card for my phone, we boarded a bus for Auckland’s animal wonderland. The journey wasn’t anything special but what did surprise me was how quickly Auckland’s CBD ended. Everything seemed to be built around the harbour district and once you left this area its commercial aspect petered out fairly quickly. Still, you didn’t really want for anything when you were in it. Auckland’s CBD pretty much catered for all you could want.
Once the bus came to a halt we disembarked and followed the signs to the zoo. At first it seemed quite busy but once we got past the entrance, cafes and toilets the crowds thinned out and all that was left for us to do was choose our path through the zoo.
As with all zoos the wildlife on show is pretty familiar so we didn’t bother to stop off at some of the enclosures. One of the enclosures that was strange to not bother ourselves with was the Australian one. When we happened upon it the three of us looked at each other and said, “Nah!” at the same time. Why did we do this you may be wondering? Simple really. Everything that was in there we get to see pretty much everyday (which is still very cool). Seeing people marvelling at the native Australian birds put a wry smile on our faces because we see them all the time.
As we plodded our merry way through the beautiful gardens, ponds, streams and miniature forests we came across a zoo favourite, the meerkats. These little rascals always impress with their cheeky behaviour and playful nature. As we walked past their enclosure Lucy and I noticed a small group of people staring into a small picnic-like area of ground and taking pictures. Intrigued by this curious behaviour we headed down further to find out what was so interesting, and boy was it interesting.
Can you guess what we might have seen? Have a think before you read on. What wouldn’t you expect to see happening in a zoo. Any ideas? I’ll tell you, some keepers were taking an elephant for a walk around the zoo, and it wasn’t even on a leash. All the TWO keepers had to control this gargantuan beast with were a couple of sticks. As if that’s was going to stop a three ton angry or excited elephant. However, it was truly amazing to get within three foot of an animal that we have only seen from afar before, and would have to go to distant lands to see in the wild. Bec was probably the most surprised since she thought Lucy and I had gone on to look at some more meerkats, so when she rejoined us and worked out what was going on her face filled with astonishment. It was a great moment.
Once the elephant encounter had passed we checked out a few more enclosures and then headed off to get a bus (driven by a man who owned a right leg that had a never ending spasm because all he did was accelerate hard or brake hard, no finesse at all) back to Auckland’s waterfront and our monsterously grande floating hotel. Once onboard we had a spot of lunch at the buffet and then whittled away a few hours on deck in the increasingly improving weather.
By 6pm our ship had reversed out of Auckland and was making its way to open water for a fairly lengthy journey to our next port of call which . . . . . . . you’ll have to wait a little longer to hear about.
BFN good readers.

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(Tom) Cruise – Day Four

Hello blog readers and a Happy New Year to you. Now, this is the second time I’ve done this entry and I’m a little annoyed because the first one, which got deleted by accident, had had a lot of time lavished upon it. So this entry is gonna have to be an abridged account of 31st December 2011 and January 1st 2012 because it’s hard to type this on my phone when I’ve got the hump. Grrrrrrr!
Okay, New Year’s Eve. Everything was geared towards floor seven of the ship and its central atrium. There were different eras of music being played throughout to cater for the vast differences in passenger ages (although a lot of what I heard was for old cronies). As midnight approached most people congregated in the central atrium to count in 2012. Upon its arrival a truck load of balloons and streamers were released from the top of the atrium to shower the celebrants below. Now, as someone that finds NYE as exciting as training a dog to play dead, I have to admit that the ship’s crew did a great job of welcoming the new year in in style. So well done to them all. It’s just a shame you have to wait so long for a stupidly short piece of time. Oh well.
New Year’s Day started well as it heralded in land, New Zealand land to be exact and it was a welcome sight since it had been over forty-eight hours since we last saw some. We had arrived in the Bay of Islands at the tip of New Zealand’s north island. Unfortunately it didn’t have a harbour big enough to take our cruise liner so we had to use some of the liner’s onboard tender boats to get ashore. This journey took a little over fifteen minutes and was then built upon with a twenty minute walk into the village of Paihia. This place was packed and had tourists filling it like seagulls filling a skip with its lid left open. Everywhere you went there was a tourist. A lot of the shops were open even though it was a public holiday, all except the one place you could get sim cards. Whoever owned that shop obviously didn’t have his village calendar up-to-date. Ejut!
Now those that know me are well aware that I don’t have a lot of patience when it comes to hanging around to do things for the sake of doing them. This is my idea of torture and, to me, painfully pointless. Fortunately I was with like minded people and within an hour of being on land we were back on a tender and heading back to our ship. Yay!
Once back on our floating metropolis it was off to the buffet for lunch (no point in buying food when it is free on the ship) followed by a few hours on a sun lounger. By 5:30pm all the passengers were back on board and the ship began its journey to Auckland, and as the Bay of Islands slipped away a pod of dolphins escorted our ship out to deeper waters; and was a truly beautiful way to end our introduction to New Zealand.
See ya soon happy readers.

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